Why "To Be Fat Like Me" is a Step Back
As you may recall, Lifetime ("television for women") has produced a movie based on "Fat Like Me", the 2003 ABC news "investigation" wherein teenager Aly Schmidt attended a new school in a fat suit and was treated like crap.
The movie, "To Be Fat Like Me", is a part of Lifetime's "don't be fat!"... er, "get healthy!" initiative. As Lifetime puts it:
Pretty, popular and athletic Aly has been banking on a softball scholarship as her ticket to college. But when a sports injury blows out her knee, the teen enters a documentary film contest in hopes of using the prize money for her education. Convinced that her overweight younger brother and mother use their struggles with weight as an excuse for everything wrong in their lives, Aly decides to go undercover wearing a fat suit and hidden camera to prove personality can outshine physical appearance. But this high schooler has no idea how harsh the world can be through a "fat" girl's eyes. Kaley Cuoco of "8 Simple Rules" and Caroline Rhea of "The Biggest Loser" star in this shocking exposé inspired by actual events.
Shocking! Fat girls are treated poorly! Wow.
The interesting thing, to me, came in the video clips featured on Lifetime's site. Watch the ones with star Cuoco and you'll find a mixed message: in one, she says that she can't imagine people "letting themselves go" in that way. In another, she preaches acceptance.
To me this neatly summarizes the recent co-opting of fat acceptance's language. Here, Lifetime - clearly interested in selling ad space to weight loss products on their site and on TV - is trying to pull a Kirstie Alley and have it both ways. Accept fat people, but lose weight. This is "fat acceptance lite" once again.
Listen. There are going to be people who support equality for fat people and then diet to lose weight. And there are going to be people who support equality for fat people and don't diet. Heretofore we've drawn a line in the sand, saying that if you subscribe to the fat acceptance philosophy you also subscribe to the idea of health at any size.
The reason why becomes clear here: if we say that it's okay to lose weight for the sake of losing weight, then fat acceptance does nothing. Cuoco wants fat people to get help ("let themselves go", a terribly negative statement) and yet wants us to accept diversity. If fat people are told they can lose weight or - worse - should lose weight, how exactly is that acceptance? Or liberation? Or revolution?
It isn't, and Lifetime is just trying to appease people in the movement with this one. Inevitably this "shocking exposé" will end with the main character reflecting on how we should be nice and kind to fat people, and you know a fat kid is gonna break down. I expect a lot of hugging and life lessons, followed by a 30-second ad for Weight Watchers.
Finally, the use of the fat suit (discussed here ad nauseam, sorry) further distances the person from the fat. How does it go... love the sinner, hate the sin? Love the person, hate the fat? No thank you, Lifetime.
Repeat: Campos in The New Republic | Obesity Season: Not Just for People
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| bootness |
January 3rd, 2007 | Link |
Shocking exposé!
Shocking exposé! Teenagers (and adults) can be big jerks if you are not perfect! This should not be a surprise to anyone. Sometimes, when people are cruel, my only consolation is that time will eventually take its toll on even the most pretty, popular and athletic. Old age, injury, accident, or god forbid middle aged spread, and then you are forced to see finally how vile it is to treat others like garbage based on how they look. Sadly, with other "imperfections" or disabilities, it is not assumed that you are morally degenerate for having them, or that you need to buck up and "work" to fix them.
On the other hand, I personally have embraced that phrase “Let yourself go.†My mom used that one on me on the day of my wedding, when she displayed photos of me when I was bulimic in high school (I guess to prove to my husband’s family that at least I USED to be thin and pretty.) She said I had “let myself go,â€ÂÂ, but that if I worked at it I could look that way again if I wanted to. I laughed at her and said, “I have let myself go, and now I’m free!†Free to eat what and when and how much I like, and not feel shame and fear and while I purge my meager salad after lunch. Free to be me. I should print up a t-shirt, "Let yourelf go" with a bird flying out of its cage.
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| Kunoichi |
January 3rd, 2007 | Link |
Wow, bootness! What a
Wow, bootness! What a story. Does your mother *know* you were bulimic at the time?
I like the phrase "let yourself go." I think most people are way too hung up on themselves and what other people might be thinking of them.
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| JeanC |
January 3rd, 2007 | Link |
George Strait has a song
George Strait has a song called "She Let Herself Go":
He wondered how she'd take it when he said goodbye.
Thought she might do some cryin': lose some sleep at night.
But he had no idea, when he hit the road,
That without him in her life, she'd let herself go.
Let herself go on a singles cruise,
To Vegas once, then to Honolulu.
Let herself go to New York City:
A week at the Spa; came back knocked-out pretty.
When he said he didn't love her no more,
She let herself go.
Instrumental break.
She poured her heart an' soul into their three-bedroom ranch.
Spent her days raisin' babies, ironin' his pants.
Came home one day from the grocery store and found his note,
And without him there to stop her, she let herself go.
Let herself go on her first blind-date:
Had the time of her life with some friends at the lake.
Let herself go, buy a brand new car,
Drove down to the beach he always said was too far.
Sand sure felt good between her toes:
She let herself go on a singles cruise,
To Vegas once, then to Honolulu.
Let herself go to New York City:
A week at the Spa; came back knocked-out pretty.
When he said he didn't love her no more,
She let herself go.
To Vegas once: Honolulu, New York City.
Came back knocked-out pretty.
To Fade.
I like this version of the phrase "let herself go". In fact, once I got off the diet roller coaster I seriously let myself go. Started doing stuff and enjoying life :D
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| bootness |
January 3rd, 2007 | Link |
Yes, I told her.
I also let
Yes, I told her.
I also let her know that at the time I was skinniest, (the only time I finally won her approval) I was also experimenting with amphetamines (at 17.) She is eating disordered herself, and sees my abandonment of that as a betrayal of some kind. Whenever she harps at me now, I just kind of feel sorry for her. She could use "letting go" a little herself. I think I scare her because we look very similar, and I am what she might look like if she were fat. Horrors!
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| bootness |
January 3rd, 2007 | Link |
Hey JeanC, I love that song!
Hey JeanC, I love that song! Yeah, It's fun to "let yourself go" and live a little!
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| LWalker |
January 4th, 2007 | Link |
Never heard of the song
Never heard of the song before, but the lyrics are GREAT!
I will not be watching this Lifetime farce. I'm still pissed at them for taking off Designing Women! I absolutely HATE the idea that thin people like to go around wearing fat suits just to prove a point (a la Tyra, Gwenyth Paltrow, etc.), that fat people are human beings and have feelings, too. Wow, really? UGH>>>>>>>
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| honeybuny |
January 4th, 2007 | Link |
i've always hate lifetime
i've always hate lifetime television, but this makes me hate it even MORE. the clip where she talks about how she was "knocking people over" while in the fat suit really pissed me off. i've NEVER knocked anyone over with my fat ass! NEVER!
i think Kaley Cuoco needs to be sat on. by someone who can't fit into her trailer's bathroom.
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| nobluz |
January 4th, 2007 | Link |
Lifetime is a hopelessly out
Lifetime is a hopelessly out of date, Donna Reed-y, holdover from the homogenous, unvarying fifties. The made for Lifetime movies include mistresses with bouffant hairdos who get what they deserve and women who get out of their miserable, frumpish, deadend lives via weight-loss and a makeover.
This coupled with shocking real life remakes of women who got the hell beat out of them and then federal legislation ensues.
Lifetime for Women recently offered this cinematic masterpiece, "Mother May I Sleep With Danger?" Come on, how can that even be considered relevant to women in the present day? We frickin know how to avoid sleeping in hazardous conditions.
The Lifetime staff wouldn't know a woman's point of view if it walked up and slapped 'em in the face. I too enjoyed "Designing Women" and "Golden Girls" and now that is sadly missing.
That said, I, being a woman with a considerable ass, sans puffy hairdo and eyeliner, have taken a solemn vow to never, ever stop on the Lifetime channel when surfing. I shall henceforth let my self go whenever possible. This ensures that my lovely daughter will never have to ask me "Mother May I Sleep With Danger?" BLECH
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| wordweaver |
January 4th, 2007 | Link |
Just a random late night
Just a random late night pondering. When they do these types of things, they always show the poor lonely, forgotten downtrodden, spit upon fat teen. Why not show some fat teens who like themselves and are accepted by their peers? I know they exist as do their accepting peers.
And also, why do they put glasses on someone when they want to dowdy them down? In every story whether about fat or not, the "ugly" one is wearing glasses, doesn't wear nice clothes or make up for that matter. Then if they are "transforming" into the beauty, they take their hair down )oh, it is always pulled up or just hanging totally drab), pull off their glasses and viola, a "beautiful swan" or some such nonsense.
Yes, fat people can and do get mistreated, but I can't believe the whole world does it 24/7. I have had my share of idiots doing stupid things because they don't like my fat, but for the most part, I get along great with a huge variety of folks. I walk proud, I don't even think about my size unless I am having a very bad day emotionally and yes I have those, but for the most part, I look folks in the eye, give them a smile and expect them to be polite and for the most part they are.
Why can't movies show some of that? Why always a downer and I agree with everyone else the mixed message of "let's accept her but lets get her skinny and back on the "right" path so she can lose weight.
And as always the stupidity of the fat suit, so fake and so awful. Plus the girl in the suit doesn't do anything like she did without it. Oh well...ick spit, gag and stomp my foot!
I have caught the preview for this a few times and it bothers me every time. I try my best to quickly flip past but sometimes, it is like being drawn to something horrible, you know you don't want to see it but you seem to be unable to stop looking.
Anyway, enough rambling.
Aloha,
Wordweaver
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| Jenny813 |
January 4th, 2007 | Link |
"The reason why becomes
"The reason why becomes clear here: if we say that it's okay to lose weight for the sake of losing weight, then fat acceptance does nothing."
This statement worries me some, because it seems akin to the "men can't be feminists" school of thought. Why can't I decide that I want to lose weight--for example, just to see if I can--and still be a member of the FA movement?
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| DeeLeigh |
January 4th, 2007 | Link |
Naw. "Thin people can't be
Naw. "Thin people can't be fat acceptance supporters" would be more like "men can't be feminists."
Paul's statement would be more like "housewives can't be feminists," and that's a big can of worms, isn't it?
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| Dolley |
January 4th, 2007 | Link |
I thought the goal was fat
I thought the goal was fat acceptance, not fat insistence.
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| paul |
January 4th, 2007 | Link |
There's now a topic in the
There's now a topic in the forums regarding my no diet stance, so have a look-see.
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| tarahj65 |
January 5th, 2007 | Link |
1. Boy are you all jaded.
1. Boy are you all jaded. When I was younger I would have given anything to see a movie that acknowledges the pain that fat people go through--that I went through (what seemed like 24/7). Believe it or not there ARE some people who are completely oblivious to this. It is something they have never had to think about. I do understand wanting to see fat folks with some agency--fighting back. Also, I'm bored with the whole fat suit concept and resent the fact that this is done when there are PLENTY of very talented fat actresses who need the work. In this case it is based on a true story so I can tolerate it.
2. Lifetime has its share of insipid tedious boring movies, but they've also had some really fantastic television. Unapologeticaly feminist and anti-racist well written tv series and movies so your missing quality stuff if you dismiss the entire channel out of hand. You'd think I own stock in it!
3. Just speaking for myself, it is quite possible to be an advocate of fat acceptance and lose weight, I've done it and at the same time am a big proponent of health at any size. What matters is how I demonstrate my support and advocacy to my fellow fat brothers and sisters (mother, father most people I know). I can understand rejecting people who are anti-fat and insist that dieting is the only way to go, but to reject people who are allies and advocates because of a choice they made for themselves is insane to me. I have moved from self hatred to self esteem working with my friends in NAAFA and other size acceptance organizations (NOT dieting) and that support has meant the world to me. Are you saying that because I am a smaller size of fat, I no longer deserve that support?
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| madge |
January 6th, 2007 | Link |
Based on the interviews
Based on the interviews given by Kaley Cuoco, I don't find any of the comments here jaded. I think they are appropriate and completely justified. To say that this actress doesn't 'get it' would be the understatement of the year. The way she talks about the fat suit alone - how she wanted to cry because her face and arms were so big - make me want to throttle her. Not to mention how she freely discusses her own weight obsession and vanity. In order for an actor to really portray a role accurately, i would think that they first must at least understand the character. Clearly Cuoco does not. In fact, it's pretty clear to me that she has some of her own prejudices against fat people, and hasn't learned a thing from this role other than "fat suits are hot" and "i couldn't use the bathroom in my trailer giggle giggle". Hilarious.
Regarding Lifetime television, Tarahj, what shows are you referring to that are empowering and feminist? I'm not being arugmentative - I honestly am asking. Because most of what i've seen on lifetime is either the classic 'woman as downtrodden helpless victim' starrring meredith baxter birney, or 'crazy hysterical woman scorned turns stalker' starring shannen doherty. There are many more 'situational' dramas i could mention that lifetime features, but for any of you that have watched this channel, i'm sure you know what i'm talking about.
The ludicrous nature of the movies aside, it's difficult to watch anything on this station due to the overabundance of commercials (cleaning products and weightloss ads), which drag a two hour movie out to 4 or 6 hours.
And back to Kaley Cuoco, when she says that weight is an issue that no one talks about, i can only wonder where this woman lives and shops. In a bubble? Because every time i leave the house, i'm confronted with either a billboard while driving to work "lose weight, feel great" (i even saw one recently advertising WLS!), or magazine covers in the grocery check out line championing the newest diet tips and fads. To me, it seems to be an issue people can't STOP talking about!
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| tarahj65 |
January 6th, 2007 | Link |
Madge, I agree with you, I
Madge, I agree with you, I don't think I mentioned the interview with Kaley Cuoco, because I didn't see it. But I'm sure she doesn' get it, most who put on fat suits and then think they know what it is like really don't. My point was that I'm glad there is a movie that talks about the subject of fat discrimination. I'm glad that now people are at least thinking about the fact that bullying and teasing fat people might be wrong, even if they don't do it exactly the way I would have.
Regarding lifetime, I'm really thinking of two tv series that I've watched pretty regularly: Any Day Now, about the friendship between black and white woman who came of age in the civil rights era, grew apart and have rediscovered that friendship. The other series in Strong Medicine, produced by Whoopie Goldberg. I thought they were both excellant series. I also thought that the movie about Gwen Araujo starring Mercedes Ruel (to me wonderful actress), the transgender girl who was murdered looks pretty good, though I haven't seen it yet-only recorded it, so I don't know for sure. I don't watch the movies that much because of what you mentioned, and I seldom see commercials because I tivo everything, so that's why I enjoy lifetime.
peace,
Tara
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| madge |
January 8th, 2007 | Link |
Thanks for the mention of
Thanks for the mention of the Lifetime shows, Tara. I've seen commercials for Strong Medicine, but i've never watched it. Will do so now.
I wish i had Tivo.... i still must endure the long winded commercials unfortunately.
I agree that there should be more movies and/or television shows that deal with fat discrimination. The last GOOD movie regarding FA I remember was about a young teen titled 'Angus' but that had to be at least 10 years ago.
Even if Lifetime's movie does end with a positive-ish message, i'm still disheartened by Cuoco's overall attitude. In a culture that obsesses over, reveres and emulates attitudes of celebrities, this clueless simp only hurts the FA cause.
I was NOT a fan of the movie "shallow hal", however, i do think that Paltrow's take on her role was refreshing and honest (featured in Campos - The Obesity Myth).
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| paul |
January 13th, 2007 | Link |
For those interested in the
For those interested in the movie without the pain of watching it, here's a largely-sarcastic recap from TVgasm.com. It all sounds about as bad as you expect.
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| paul |
January 17th, 2007 | Link |
This past weekend I noticed
This past weekend I noticed that To Be Fat Like Me was on and, well, I couldn't help but watch for a few minutes. It was... well... awful. I saw the first 20 minutes or so, and fast-forwarded through another 20 minutes (thanks, TiVo!)
The stereotypes are all here. Mother has "weight issues" and celebrates by bringing in cheesecake for the family to share. Daughter (who wears the fat suit) is an athlete who doesn't hate fat people, but doesn't think they're helping themselves either. Brother is fat, eats poorly, doesn't exercise, etc. Father is just a token like most on-TV dads are (wasn't bumbling, though - that's a plus I guess.)
I was surprised that Black Like Me was namechecked by the daughter - er, Aly - but there it was. The fat suit probably brought her up to 200 pounds, I'd guess.
A bonus is that the person she's working with on the documentary sets her up with a stereotypical lunch, so she can eat it in front of everyone. It's Doritos and a cupcake. For lunch. Of course this leads to a lot of looks from other kids, and she ends up not eating.
After a day in the suit, she has a newfound appreciation for veggies and tries to encourage her brother - who is of course in front of the computer eating half of a medium-size pizza - to eat some celery instead. That was about all I could take of this thing.
She also makes a fat friend, but as the recap linked above claims, she too has food problems. The whole tone of the movie is, "Fat people have food problems. Don't hate them... they don't choose to be this way. Love them and help them change." And I kid you not, there were at least 5 Jenny Craig commercials I saw on FF.
Co-opted fat acceptance sucks.
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