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Crocs Make Kids Fat

My nominee for most ridiculous columnist of the year - and this is a tight competition - is the Chicago Tribune's John Kass. His latest column postulates that kids today are fat because - ready? - they're wearing Crocs. You know, the shoes.

I thought it was a parody. Apparently, he's serious. (And if it is indeed a joke, it's delivered far, far too dryly.)

Take a group of Croc-wearing children and a group of sneaker-wearing kids. Which group will be fit and less prone to obesity, since at bottom being fat is about calories in and calories out?

Well, sure! What the hell, right? And who better to ask for his opinion than the owner of a fitness chain that runs " boot camps for brides before weddings, and sports camps for young athletes"? No, not cashing in on the alleged obesity crisis and negative manifestations of body images there.

Kass actually does delve into reality for a moment and talks about the mechanics of Crocs and how they affect legs, feet, et al. But all in all, it's the most ridiculous, far-fetched, and brain dead opinion piece I've seen. Perhaps ever. I still have about 1% of hope that it's a big joke, and tomorrow's article will be a "Ha ha, just kidding! OBESITY CRISIS SUX0RZ! LOL!one!"

More importantly, why the hell aren't fat bloggers being published? I mean, even Kate Harding's worst post (note: I won't pick one) is miles ahead of this tripe.

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moongirli September 26th, 2007 | Link | Oh. My. Gord. Seriously?

Oh. My. Gord. Seriously? SERIOUSLY? Jawdropping!

You'd think that a paper like the Tribune would have slightly higher standards (or editors, at least).

And the number of things he's labeling "epidemic," you'd think he just learned the word and wants to make sure everyone who reads his column (which is like how many people after this crap?) knows he knows what it means.

Alyssa September 26th, 2007 | Link | Croc or Crock?

They call these articles "opinion" pieces for a reason. They are based upon personal perception rather than systematic research. The reverse of his argument would be just as ridiculous, i.e., wearing athletic shoes makes children thin. Walk around any shopping mall, and you'll see fat adults and kids wearing sneakers. So much for that "theory".

JeanC's picture
September 26th, 2007 | Link | Ye frickin' ghodz, I can't

Ye frickin' ghodz, I can't believe someone actually wrote this drivel and actually believes what he wrote. I've seen LOTS of kids of ALL sizes wearing Crocs and they've all been extremely active. Heck, since I got my own Crocs my activity levels have increased since things don't hurt anymore while wearing them.

Kate Harding's picture
Kate Harding
September 26th, 2007 | Link | thanks, I think :)

I mean, even Kate Harding's worst post (note: I won't pick one) is miles ahead of this tripe.

A journalist friend of mine has been begging me to pitch the Trib's op-ed editor, but I was waiting for a hook. I might have just found one. (And thanks.)

Lizzy September 26th, 2007 | Link | Ok, I have to admit that I

Ok, I have to admit that I had to click on one of the ads for Crocs to understand what they are. And I don't really get what he's driveling on about. Actually, the only context in which I know those shoes is that I've seen a lot of RNs wearing them. Guess they can't be that bad for your health!

rebelle September 26th, 2007 | Link | Are we sure this is not a

Are we sure this is not a joke? Some of the posts indicated it was a deliberate piece of sarcasm. I can see that, but given how ridiculous people who are perfectly serious get about obesity, it could go the other way just as easily.

Some of the posts, too, make me gag. More than one says that instead of "blaming" the shoe we should"blame the parents." Because, you know, parents have complete control over how big or how small their children are! Just ask that lady in Serbia (Siberia?), who just gave birth to a 17-pound baby. She swears she didn't eat anything untoward, but I just *know* she was stuffing herself with pizza nonstop, while sitting on her ass, wearing Crocs!

paul September 26th, 2007 | Link | Joke?

I still do hope it's a joke, in which case Mr. Kass will lose my coveted "worst columnist of the year" award and instead be awarded the "worst attempt at sarcasm by a columnist" award.

amanda8501's picture
September 27th, 2007 | Link | I don't own any crocs but

I don't own any crocs but working at a restaurant I notice that half of our serving staff wear crocs because they are so comfortable while standing for 9+ hours strait. Good to know the writer has decided that he wants to write to create hype.

rebelle September 27th, 2007 | Link | Waiiiit. Your Croc-wearing

Waiiiit. Your Croc-wearing co-workers are *standing up* while wearing the shoe??? And working? But, but, but...I thought Crocs promoted laziness! Smiling LOL!

rosenleaf September 27th, 2007 | Link | How is this possible? Since

How is this possible? Since Crocs were introduced, I have strenuously avoided putting them on my feet. I tried a pair on for exactly 10 seconds before I had to kick them off owing to my extreme sensitivity to having sweaty feet.

And yet...I'm still fat! How?! Why?!

MaryRW's picture
September 27th, 2007 | Link | I love my crocs

I guess that explains everything. Puzzled

sso September 27th, 2007 | Link | lmfao what? actually, there

lmfao what? actually, there is a legitimate reason to avoid putting crocs on children. at least in very young children, the shoes seem to be implicated in a number of foot-entrapment accidents on escalators

in any case, i don't recall my parents' choice of footwear for me as a child ever impeding me from running around maniacally, if i were so inclined.

richie79's picture
September 28th, 2007 | Link | This is every bit as fatuous

This is every bit as fatuous and illogical as the argument that providing clothes in larger sizes encourages people to 'stay fat' and not pursue the holy grail of weight loss. Not that that will probably stop our Government going ahead with proposals to put health warnings and anti-obesity helpline numbers on the labels.

Of course whilst they can't ban plus-sized clothing altogether I wouldn't put it past them to try and outlaw Crocs, or (more likely) slap a 'fat tax' on them - after all let's face it we went to war on equally spurious grounds...

What annoys me most of all is that crap like this is finding its way into the same media outlets that continue to deny even the mere existence of any perspective that contradicts the obesity epidemic consensus.

Mickariah's picture
September 30th, 2007 | Link | What a load... I love my

What a load...

I love my Crocs! I wear them all the time and I'm incredibly active in them! I wear them to work (where I walk and stand up, sometimes run.), I dance in them (they are some kick-butt dancing shoes), and I've helped move my friend across town in them (I was the only one at the end of the day with out a back ache.).

Icecat62's picture
September 30th, 2007 | Link | can you say moron?

A lot of the people I play hockey with wear Crocs. Some are fat and others are thin. Shoes don't make you fat, loving to eat high calorie, great tasting food makes a person fat - at least that's why I'm fat. Smiling I've always been an athlete and for a large portion of that time, I've been fat. Guess that person needs to recheck how they think.

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