Chicago Tribune Reporter Likes Big Adjectives
Chicagoland is getting its first Sonic Drive-In this week, and the Chicago Tribune was on it. Unfortunately, it looks like article author Christopher Borrelli decided to use the article to test out his thesaurus and writing skills.
The other day, three very large men in a very small car rolled up behind the Sonic Drive-In in Aurora. The smell of tar was pungent. In nearby fields little yellow flags from new developments flapped in the wind. The largest of the men, in the passenger seat, with a stomach so vast and gelatinous it rested on the dashboard as if taking a lunch break, rolled down his window. His right arm hung over the window lip like a dead goose. "You people open yet?" he asked. Sonic general manager Ray Mejia shook his head. "Tuesday," he said. The man slapped his palm hard against the metal of the car door. "The 19th," Mejia said.
Seriously, folks, that's the type of writing I learned back in my college fiction writing class. Be descriptive, paint a picture, set the scene. Good advice but in this case it's a big ol' WTF.
Worse there's no reason at all the men's size needs to be in that paragraph. None. By bringing this up at all, Borelli wants the reader to get a certain picture in her head: a picture of disgust. Nothing is relevant there otherwise. And please, "gelatinous?" Really?
There's been scuttlebutt in Chicago that the Trib might go downhill under its new ownership and I've kind of denied that but... I consider this a harbinger. What a disgusting piece of "news" writing. [Thanks, eliza!]
Publicly Fat in Australia - Part 2 | Publicly Fat in Australia - Part 3
Posted by paul on August 18, 2008
I guess she's trying to imply that only fat people will be going to the new Sonic?
One wonders how many skinny people rolled up to the drive-thru of the unopened Sonic that same day. Was the reporter there as the anorexic/bulimic young girl rolled through to start the binge portion of her purge for that day? Was her skinny arm, (no thicker than the steering wheel) resting on the door frame as the manager turned her away? How about those illegal aliens who love their tacos? Were they there the same day and did they curse out the manager in Spanish when they couldn’t get their food fix for the day? I’m sure there were some black folks who had a hankerin’ for some fried chicken and probably threatened the manager with bodily harm because they weren’t open for business yet. For the stereotypes presented in the article and those above, I hereby give the good ol’ one digit salute. (Hope nobody was offended and understands that ol’ Moody Blue’s tongue is planted firmly in cheek)
You know, if we're going by the premise that fast food causes fatness, there's no way one could get fat eating at Sonic. Their food is utter ass. Look, I'm not one of those people that's too good to eat fast food, I'm telling you that this particular fast food isn't worth it. Sonic does make fantastic shakes, slushies, and other drinkable treats, which is the only reason anyone suffers through their food in the first place. Funny how Sonic is always to blame for fatness, and Dairy Queen never is. Bizarre fat related blinders, or does Sonic make their food out of deep fried evil?
When I saw that story, the first thing I thought of was sending you a link.
This reminds me of nothing so much as the way 19th-century writers used to describe ethnic groups, with a kind of reflexive prejudice that revealed that they'd never actually met anyone from the group they were writing about.
You have wonder if the writer has actually ever seen a dead goose. Or if the incident he described really happened.
You're right, Paul. The beginning of this "news" story reads like fiction... and bad fiction, at that. Unfortunately, the thesaurus he hauled out for gelatinous wasn't able to provide him one of the basic principals of description: Don't simply tack on the word very to make something more of what it is. The English language is full of big, beautiful (and even small, beautiful) adjectives that get the job done far more interestingly and efficiently. 'Very small' = tiny, teeny-weeny, minute, or infinitesimal. And surely, he could have wrapped his brain around the ones for 'very big,' such as gargantuan, huge, titanic, colossal, and the always-amusing elephantine.*
If this were the weekly newspaper of a small town, an article devoted to the opening of a fast food restaurant might make more sense. But seriously? Chicago? Three million people? And the Chicago Tribune? The 8th largest newspaper in the country? Slow news day.
Yes, his obvious disdain of people with "vast" and jelly-like features is deserving of criticism. But I suspect that it's his general laziness as a writer that is to blame for what might be inadvertent fat-bashing. Later in the article, he discusses Sonic's unique and effective marketing strategy. Had he focused on that aspect and researched it accordingly, there would have been no need for the weird story-telling at the beginning that both detracts from any meaningful information and revels in its clichés.
I'm rambling a bit. My point is that I find his writing more offensive than his fat-bashing. FWIW.
* Don't get me started on how elephants and other animals regularly conjured up for the sake of comparison to fat people (cows, whales, pigs, etc.) aren't actually fat at all. Frustrates the living hell out of me.
That actually sounds like a Bulwer-Lytton contest entry. Except not as good.
His arm hung over the door like a dead goose? Oh for pity sake!
This is disgusting ~ not the description of fellow HUMAN BEINGS, but the sheer prejudice that is being printed *legally* in a newspaper!
What if the author had written, "And his big hooked Jew Nose protruded through the window..."
Or how about, "The darkest of the men, in the passenger seat, with a rag on his head, rolled down his window. His right arm hung over the window lip like a camel jockey's whip. "Salam alikum! You people open yet?" he asked..."
Yeah, that stuff wouldn't fly! (Thank God...) But this anti-fat-people discrimination somehow passes muster as not only journalism but also LEGAL??
"If you judge people, you have no time to love them." ~Mother Teresa
Ah, but you forget that making fun of fat people in the most flagrant way is good! It will SHAME US into exercising five hours a day and developing "good" eating behaviors, such as a piece of lettuce and a glass of water! *sarcasm, of course*
Plus - we CHOOSE to be fat, therefore we deserve to be treated like dog waste. *more sarcasm*
Okay, people, I think we're going "there." (Well, Moody did, at any rate. And a whole lot of the rest of us thought it in our heads, I'm betting. And FatShepherdess took a new tack on the theme.) What, was it only five threads ago that we were discussing that there are certain comparisons that are hurtful -- comparisons that we don't want to draw? Comparisons that may not respect the histories and experience of other people. Davita advised us that when we do not know something, cannot see something, to ask questions. I hope that Davita or Scruff or Tara would feel welcome to come back and in kindest of terms explain why Moody's comments might be inappropriate. And, more importantly, to give us alternatives that make the point as strongly. I fear we neuter the cause when we hold our tongues and politely refuse to "go there."
They wouldn't say that about a black person? A Jew? Fuck THAT noise. They wouldn't even say that stuff about a thin heroin addict. "Three junkies approached the Sonic, their pupils like slits, their withered arms covered in track marks, having just satisfied their joneses and looking for munchies..." So dehumanizing. So disrespectful. Wouldn't happen.
Most people think our movement is a JOKE, people. A J-O-K-E. They think it's like fighting for the rights of people never to bathe and get huge festering sores and still be hired as CEOs, or for violent psychotics to refuse to take their meds and stockpile all the weapons they want. Even most FAT people think the idea of standing up for the right to humanistic treatment is a JOKE. They think this kind of public humiliation is GOOD FOR THEM, that it will motivate them to quit satisfying their greedy greedy appetites with more than a few leaves of lettuce and half a boiled chicken breast and never drink anything but black coffee and water since no fatass ever "needs" more than that, and that it will stop their giving in to their horrible laziness at the end of a grueling 12-hour day and flopping down to watch TV instead of burning it at the gym for 2 hours every night like they're supposed to, if the humiliation happens often enough.
People get really pissed at me for saying it, but it's true: These kinds of stories will stop when there are enough fat people on their own goddamn side that it will hurt these publications financially to print them. Corporations do not change unless they are hit in the wallet, and hard.
Debra...that is why I MADE my statement--Because the stereotypes ARE inappropriate. And hurtful. Just like the stereotypes that people use to describe us as fat people. I do not think I need to be reprimanded, educated--nor censored.
I hear you Meowzer. I've lost count of the number of times I've been told on non-'Sphere boards that even if we have the right to exist as individuals, we have no business organising, because it's 'dangerous' and 'spreading medical disinformation' - I even found myself accused of 'committing manslaughter against American children' on the IMDb! Most won't even give us that - they convince themselves that we're fighting for the right to be allowed to sit on people on aircraft, to insist that everyone find fat people attractive, or they claim that fat people can't possibly discriminated against, not really, even in the face of studies and quotes which demonstrate the opposite.
I'm not sure why anyone in the FAM would be pissed at you for suggesting that. I think it's fairly obvious that many fat people are not only their own worst enemies, but ours too. Again, on a number of occasions I've complained about something fat-phobic on a forum only to have someone pipe up "I'm fat, I found it funny, get a sense of humour" or suchlike and had to try to explain to them why they don't speak for all fat people (and more to the point, why if they stepped back for a few minutes they might see why they shouldn't 'find it funny' either). On the other hand, I do appreciate that there are powerful social and economic forces which keep these people invested in the 'fantasy of being thin', willfully ignorant to any alternative, and thus complicit in their own oppression.
I do however agree with Debra about the race comparisons, and this is coming from someone who's on occasion been as guilty as anyone of using them to embellish my arguments. And whilst I think it's one thing to unwittingly draw these parallels as a result of unchallenged privilege and to acknowledge this when called on it, it's quite another to do so not 'five threads' after a heated discussion in which the impact of this practice (ie that some aren't particularly comfortable with it) has been specifically pointed out. That even applies to the use of sarcasm and irony too, where such a sensitive topic is concerned.
I honestly don't think it's about reprimanding anyone, just ensuring that the FAM is more inclusive, and to be honest it's no great hardship to take care with such comparisons. The alternative risks derailing important discussions about the topic in hand (fat rights) and alienating potential allies when we are a small movement which can ill-afford further fragmentation and division.
"if you think fat people have no self-discipline, consider the fact that they haven’t killed you yet." - Miss Conduct, Boston Globe
FatShepherdess, no I don't think such comments will be seen anytime soon in any kind of newspaper about anyone except fat people and smokers. However, it was so ridiculous and over-the-top that it was unintentionally funny. Almost as badly written as the bad opening line contest winners (the Bulwer-Lytton I mentioned.) Somehow you manage to write over-the-top but so *well* that it's also funny. The contrast between what you wrote and what they wrote - I love it. They ought to hire you instead.
The comments following the article are just as bad. Apparently, fat people are to blame for all the problems facing America.
Moody, I don't think you should be censured either. That's my point. Or, some would argue, my blindness. Have you checked the "For Crying Out Loud" thread? We are supposed to stand on our own two feet and NOT use the race card, because it is hurtful and disrespectful to some people. And while that would be well and good -- to stand without race comparisons -- I don't see how we can make our point as strongly without it. Richie has done a good job, and Meowser's point is also well made, but it started from yours as a jumping off point. It wouldn't have had the impact without yours. So, I want advice, I'm being serious here, from those who would have us to not make the comparisons in this case to help me out. Richie, in his eloquent way, actually has modeled some good stuff. But he's white. Has he made the point well enough? I'm inviting. I'm asking. I really am admitting ignorance here.
I dunno about anyone else here but I read Moody Blue's comment as basically a parody of the STUPID newspaper article and nothing more then that. I knew she wasn't one bit serious about the stereotypes... we all know that not every black person hankers for fried chicken or that all girls with stick-thin arms are anorexic/bulemic. I saw in Moody's comment that she was mimicking the stupidity of the author of that utterly assinine article and she made a darn good point while she was at it. In my personal opinion there's no need to get upset about what Moody wrote. If someone comes here to BigFatBlog and reads that comment and is such a hypersensative little baby that they can't see it for what it is, then too bad for them! They can go away and grow up a bit and then when they have their big girl/big boy undies on, they can come back and join the rest of us adults. There are farrrrr to many people in our society that make it their life's ambition to "be offended" about anything and everything ~ regardless if it's actually offensive or not ~ and I do not have much time to waste shedding tears for their tender little feelnigs. We in the FAM do not need to cater to overly sensative folk that need to get a grip and realize that *they* are not the center of the universe. We are not going to lose the FA battle if we don't pander to everyone that snivels about "being offended."
Annie McPhee ~ I stil cannot believe such blatant fat-people-bashing was allowed in a newspaper! No human being, regardless of race or religion or whatever, should be bashed in a newspaper ~ that just shouldn't be legal!! Uuuugh I'm so tired I can't write decently... must... wake... up...
"...they convince themselves that we're fighting for the right to be allowed to sit on people on aircraft"
HaHaHaaaaa! Yeah, that's my #1 Fat Goal In Life !!!!
What gets me is... why do people CARE that we are fat?? Why are they so hung up on our fatness?? This really boggles my mind!
"If you judge people, you have no time to love them." ~Mother Teresa