Another Fat Couple Denied Adoption Rights
Ridiculous. Richard sent in a link to a piece about Kylie and Dave Lannigan, a Victoria, Australia couple deemed too fat to adopt a child. The couple has been in the adoption process for over three years already. Kylie, who weighs around 278 pounds (126 kg) has been losing weight in order to get her BMI within the so-called "acceptable" range which the Department of Human Services is using as a benchmark for parental ability. Even though she lost 26 pounds (12 kg) already to comply with this rather silly rule, she's been asked to lose another 88 pounds (40kg). No kidding.
Worse, Kylie has PCOS, which can cause weight gain. So she's forced to be on a diet in order to lose weight in order to adopt a child which she probably won't be able to have normally due to PCOS. That sounds stellar.
Interestingly, when the Lannigans attended a seminar about adoption a few years ago, Kylie was warned that her health might be an issue but not her weight. Why, then, is she being forced to lose weight?
Here's a situation where a fat person is putting her health at further possible risk with weight loss in order to comply with an adoption law, for heaven's sake. Government-forced weight loss.
And yet, people will argue that it can all be fixed if we all "just lose weight". Yeah. That fixes everything.
The Real Obesity Problem | BlogHer Moves Towards Fat Acceptance
Posted by paul on June 24, 2007
This just breaks my heart into a thousand tiny little pieces. Not only does my heart break for this couple who just wants to give a child a loving home, but it also breaks for all those children who could benefit from said loving home. Do these people not realize that it's one thing to reject a grown adult, but they're actually hurting the children because in their sweet sweet hearts they feel as if they are unwanted when that's not the truth at all. Children have this amazing ability to make everything their own fault. "If I hadn't asked for $5, Mommy and Daddy wouldn't be fighting about money." "If I hadn't acted up maybe Mommy and Daddy would still be together." "If I were a better child, then someone would love me and adopt me."
It truly saddens me that the people who are charged to look out for these children are hurting them even more by making them feel rejected simply because someone doesn't fit into a "magic number."
that's just heartbreaking...
Are there really so few children waiting to be adopted in Australia that the government can afford to be so picky? I find it hard to believe.
I really hope there isn't such callousness at work here in the States. Too many kids are aging out of the system for lack of parents as it is.
Some of the people who commented on the Herald's message board are out to lunch! They say Kylie should eat less, exercise more, because it's "not that hard to lose weight."
Didn't they read this article? The woman DOES exercise and she IS cutting calories; but since it's failed to transform her into a rail thin supermodel, it is presumed she just isn't doing enough. And for those ninnies who think her health is impacted by her weight...didn't they see that Kylie does NOT have any of the diseases people claim are associated with obesity? That her health problem is POCS?
I especially "liked" the one comment, which in effect said because Kylie was fat her child would become fat as well, because it would learn to eat junk food from her. There ya go. All fat people eat junk food. All fat people are lazy. All fat people will corrupt children if given the chance.
Good grief! If ever I had any doubts that people can be self-righteous and hateful at the same time, these folks have removed them.
Some of the people who commented on the Herald's message board are out to lunch! They say Kylie should eat less, exercise more, because it's "not that hard to lose weight."
I noticed those comments, too, rebelle. I wrote my own comment (which has not made it through yet and might not ever make it through) stating that even in weight loss guidelines it is nowadays often stated that fat people should aim at "realistic" weight loss of 5-10% of body weight because it has been found that fat people's weight usually reaches a plateau at levels higher than "normal" even if they eat a very low calorie diet and do regular exercise - and this holds true for people without the additional complicating factor of PCOS. I also said that your chances of keeping off the weight are even lower.
And did you see the comment stating that being fat is as detrimental to health as smoking or drug addiction? As far as smoking is concerned it is very clear that the link between it and some diseases is far stronger than no matter which data you look at. And for drugs other than nicotine - I guess it depends on the drug but alcoholism certainly has far higher risks than being fat, too, and I am sure this is true for illegal hard drugs as well.
I also wondered at one comment stating that if Kylie could lose 12kg in just a few weeks it couldn't be that hard for her to lose 40 more... I guess the person who wrote that has never been on an extended diet and so never experienced that weight loss slows down considerably with time. Some people should check the facts (even the so called facts put out by diet friendly physicians) before they write comments!
So disgusting. To think that oftentimes kids are left in abusive homes because parents are smart enough to talk their way through investigations and cover up what they do, and this couple who only wants a child to love and care for is denied for such a stupid reason as the potential adoptive mom's weight.
And even if she manages to loose the further 40 kg, what happens if she's not in the lucky 2% able to mantain weight-loss? Does she get the child taken away from her or what? This is too horrible and stupid for words, really.
This whole, "fat" people make terrible parents really depresses me. If a child is going to be well cared for by two loving people, how can that be a bad thing (no matter race, size or sexual orientation)? I think it is sad that people use such a meaningless indicators to tell whether or not someone will make a good parent. As always it will be the children who suffer for this ridiculous prejudice.
We have a child already but I want a second. I fear because of several health problems, it wouldn't be wise to put my body through another pregnancy. However, because of such stringent adoption rules, the very health problems that keep me from having a child naturally are the same ones that will keep me from adopting. I just count myself lucky that I already have one child to love.
I wrote my response on here this morning:
My post
The thing is, that there is such a massive shortage of carers in all of the state systems... it just infuriates me. As a former child protection worker, I find this horrifying on so many levels and against everything that is Australia. We seriously are going mental.
I am feeling moved to actually start campaigning now. Who is the Australian organisation? Link? Contact person?
It's not unusual for a woman following a low-glycemic-type PCOS diet to conceive after a few months of normalizing her insulin levels. Hope that happens here.
This, and other similar stories, not to mention children being taken from their parents, makes me wonder what's next. How long do we have before hospital staff will take newborns away from fat moms?
Don't say that, limor! I already worry about getting flack for being a fat pregnant mom, the last thing I'd need would be to worry that I could lose my babies because I gave birth while fat.
Kind of like DWB - GBWF giving birth while fat....Of course none of us fatties are supposed to have sex or get pregnant in the first place. And if we do get pregnant we aren't supposed to have normal healthy pregnancies or deliver normal healthy babies. I feel so very out of place at the OB's office and the tour of the maternity ward left me feeling like a freak show...FAT! and OLD! OMG! My belly rolls and gray hair just stand out in such stark contrast to the other pregnant women (who all look about 12 years old to me). And oh how I wish my OB would SHUT UP about my weight. I have no control over it and it doesn't matter WHAT I eat or don't eat so just SHUT UP already.
And yes, it really pisses me off that I would be totally unable to "qualify" to adopt a child based on my weight. Next we'll be denied fertility treatments and other medical treatments because we're too fat.
Jen- I know what you mean about the OB's office. Fortunately the only time my OB's ever made a big deal over my weight was when I accidently lost some a couple weeks ago. Other than that, she's never said a word. But yeah, sitting in the waiting room can definitly be unsettling.
Jen, they actually do deny IVF treatment to women of a certain BMI in Australia. Which, given that PCOS is the leading cause of infertility, sucks really.
I have PCOS and am so lucky to have conceived both of my kids with Metformin only. I can only speculate the anguish if I hadn't.
tealou - are you serious? A certain BMI alone disqualifies a woman from IVF treatment? Is this for public funded treatments or does this also apply to women who could pay out of pocket? This totally spoils my opinion of Australia...
Hey! I have an idea! The husband isn't fat, right? Only the wife? So why doesn't he just divorce her, adopt the kid himself, and then remarry her? Unless, of course, they won't let single men adopt. In which case, he could marry a thin lesbian as a beard until the adoption goes through -- lesbians can't marry each other in Australia anyway, so it's no skin off her nose, right? Then they can split up, and after a believable amount of time he can remarry his wife. Then she'll automatically be the kid's "mum"! They will, of course, have to explain to the kid once s/he comes of age that daddy had to have a "fake wife" who was thin in order to save the kid from the orphanage, but I'm sure the child will greatly appreciate all the machinations performed on his/her behalf.
Alternatively, the wife could get her legs cut off. That would get rid of the last 88 pounds for sure. And it would be grreeeeeat for her health not to be able to walk again. Not to mention that the kid will always know where she is!
But really, we know the real reason they don't want a woman with PCOS to adopt. It's that pesky mustache problem. Gender identity confusion for the child and all that.
**week-long headdesk**